Building Relationships Pt. 1

When you self injure it can often be hard to build relationships for a number of reasons but it's okay. Whether you're getting into a boyfriend/girlfriend situation it can feel overwhelming to build a relationship with them. Everyone worries that their secret will get out and you won't know how the other person will react. Once they find out another question opens up, will this person be able to stick with me. From my own experiences I've learned a lot. I'm usually far too upfront with the other person, it's not intentional but my theory has always been to get everything out there and if the person sill wants to hang around they're okay. However sometimes you can meet a "fixer", a person who wants to be able to fix you're situation. I have before and it caused more stress for me than anything. Where we ran into the problem was when I would be having an episode and he would tell me that he understood and that it was okay. The problem was that he didn't understand and I wasn't okay. Some people like having someone like this and that's okay but in my own life this hasn't been a good choice.
Another problem I've had is that because I'm very unpredictable with my mood and during episodes of self injury where I don't think before my actions I often times tell the person I don't want to see them anymore and then I cut off all communication with that person. Now I understand that isn't a good choice and it's incredibly unfair to that person but it's how I've always dealt with it. I can't blame it all on mental health but I can say that having any mental health problems of any kind or severity can make it hard to have a solid relationship with other people because they don't know how you're going to feel about them the next day. So these are some tips to help out...

- Be honest
- Only tell them about your SI or mental health  problems when you're ready
- If you feel like they are crowding you or trying to "fix" you then say something and let them know to back off a bit.
- Focus on the good things (how much fun you have with them, how they make you feel)
- Don't focus on the little things that are wrong about them
- If you think you're going to not think rationally (break up with them in an instant, saying something you'll regret) stop yourself and wait until the moment passes.

Pt 2 will be posted once I think about it some more